


Hordes & Horrors

by HeartsInJeopardy



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons, Fantasy Adventure, Fluff, Gen, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-08-30 04:18:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16757545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartsInJeopardy/pseuds/HeartsInJeopardy
Summary: The Horde cadets play a fantasy role-playing game, and of course Adora, Catra, Kyle, and Rogelio manage to mess things up.





	Hordes & Horrors

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something quick and silly. Knowledge of D&D is not necessarily required to enjoy the story.

“This is not fun,” Catra said, glowering at the game pieces scattered on the floor in front of her.

“We haven’t even started yet,” Lonnie said with a scowl.

“And so far, all we’ve done is math.” Catra crossed her arms in front of her chest, turning to look at Adora. “I’m not having fun.”

“Well,” Adora sighed, “ _someone_ wanted to make a character that wasn’t in the manual.” She rolled a dice and scribbled a few numbers onto Catra’s character sheet.

“Hey, it’s not my fault this ‘fantasy’ game has like eight different types of humans but no cat people.” She picked up one of the small plastic character figures, and squinted down at it. “Even Rogelio got to pick a lizard man.”

“My character is a _dragon_ man,” Rogelio said, snatching the figure out of Catra’s hand. “There’s a difference.”

The cadets sat on the rough floor of an unused locker room in the Horde barracks, crowded around a mess of books, maps, and plastic figures. Lonnie sat across from them, with her own stack of books and loose papers piled behind a cardboard screen. ‘Hordes & Horrors’ was printed on both the screen and the manuals, in a macabre red and black font.

“Here,” said Adora, passing the character sheet back to Catra. “You only need to add in your class bonuses now.”

Catra furrowed her brow, looking down at the sheet before turning back to Adora with a sulky expression. She had often used it on Adora, who thought of the look as Catra’s sad kitten face.

“Fine,” she groaned. Catra broke into a smile again as Adora took the sheet back and finished marking it up.

“Alright.” Lonnie clapped her hands. “Let’s get started. We won’t bother using character names because honestly, I don’t trust any of you to remember them.” The other cadets nodded in unison. “So just say what your class is before we get started.”

“Paladin!” Adora smiled.

“Rogue!” Catra said with the same gusto.

“Barbarian,” said Rogelio, holding up the plastic figure for his character.

“I came up with a cool backstory for my sorcerer,” Kyle said, holding up a stack of papers covered from top to bottom in writing on both sides. “He was born into this noble family, but on the night of his first birthday-”

“Look,” Lonnie interrupted, “we’ve already wasted a lot of time, so we should probably just get started.”

“Oh,” said Kyle. He tucked the papers back into his manual. “Right, of course.”

Lonnie cleared her throat, moving sheets, books, and figures out of the pile until only the map of a shady forest path remained before the players. She set down four plastic figures in a group at one end of the map.

“You are journeying through the Whispering Woods,” she read in a slow, serious voice, “in search of the foul kingdom of Plumeria, where the evil Princess Perfuma reigns. Your quest is to retrieve her mystical runestone, which is said to possess strange and powerful magic.”

Rogelio’s hand shot up, as if he was answering a question in class. “I step in front of Kyle’s character,” he said. The other cadets, including Kyle, stared quizzically at him. “You know, to protect him.”

“Nothing happened yet,” Lonnie scoffed.

“Right, but just in case.”

Lonnie rolled her eyes and picked up her manual again. “As I was saying. Your party steps…”

***

The party stepped carefully along the forest path, a thin trail where the enchanted plants of the Whispering Woods had been worn away by travelers from ages past.

Thin rays of sunlight stretched down from between the treetops, where the eerie calls of strange birds and other creatures could be heard.

“Hold up,” Catra said, stopping in the middle of the path to look Adora up and down. “Are you really going to wear that?”

Adora glanced down at her armor, which was bright white with a flowing skirt and gold trim, including a large starburst on her chest. “What’s wrong with it?” she asked.

“Nothing.” Catra said, folding her arms behind her back and smiling mischievously. She was dressed in a plain tunic and tights, much like her regular clothes. “The tiara is a nice touch.”

On the path ahead of them, Rogelio in his leather armor and Kyle in his dark wizard’s robes both snickered.

“Excuse me for having a sense of style,” Adora said with a shake of her head.

_Suddenly,_ Lonnie’s voice boomed in their minds, seeming to come from everywhere. _A group of guards wielding bows rise up from cover along both sides of the path, surrounding you._

Just as she said it, archers shot up from among the undergrowth along the path, arrows nocked and pointed at the group.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Catra  yelled, waving her arms back and forth. The archers seemed to freeze at her command, standing like statues with their weapons held before them. “There’s no way a group this big could just sneak up on us,” she said defiantly.

_Well_ , Lonnie sighed, _they did_.

“That’s not realistic,” Catra grumbled, stamping her foot. “Or fair.”

_Too bad_.

The archers came to life instantly, firing a volley of arrows at the party as they jumped into action.

Adora ducked her head behind her golden shield as she drew her sword. A pair of arrows splintered against the surface one after the other.

Further ahead, Kyle and Rogelio dove for the dirt of the forest floor together, as arrows whistled just inches above their heads.

Catra crouched quickly, somersaulting toward Adora as a trio of arrows whizzed through the place where she had just been standing. But another shot grazed her leg mid-roll, making her land in an ungraceful heap.

“Ow!” she cried out, pressing both her hands over the cut. Her head swiveled back and forth quickly, taking in the rest of the party and the chaos surrounding them. “You totally did that on purpose,” she growled at the sky. “Only I got hit? As if you rolled that.”

_I don’t know what you’re talking about_ , Lonnie said with exaggerated innocence. _Blame the dice, not me_.

Adora edged closed to Catra, crouched behind her shield as more arrows glanced off it, and pressed her hand against Catra’s wound. “Here, I have healing magic,” she said.

She furrowed her brown in concentration, as her hand began to glow with bright, golden energy. Catra watched in awe as the cut on her leg seemed to knit itself shut. Adora’s eyes blinked open when the wound was healed, her hand lingering on Catra’s skin.

“Better?” she asked.

“Oh, it was no big deal.” Catra blushed. She pushed herself up into a crouch, drawing a pair of knives from scabbards at her waist. “But thanks, uh, anyway, I mean.”

The noise and flashing light of fire caught their attention, and they saw that Kyle was hurling fireballs from his hands at the archers. The sight was almost impressive, except for the panicky way Kyle flapped his arms to cast the spell.

Beside him, Rogelio took up a massive ax in both hands, charging off the path towards the trees as the archers shouted in alarm.

Catra and Adorare joined the fight, rushing in opposite directions with their weapons drawn. The archer nearest to Adora beat back a hasty retreat, and she could tell from the noise of running feet that the others had followed his lead. But Catra’s snarling laughter said that she had caught one.

As she walked back to the path, Catra dragged a struggling guard out of the bushes from the opposite side. Rogelio stepped out from the trees with another guard draped over his shoulders, kicking his legs feebly in the dragon man’s grip.

Kyle raised himself onto his tiptoes to get a look at the guard, pressing a hand to Rogelio’s chest to balance himself. “His armor has Perfuma’s standard on it,” he announced to the group. “He must be from Plumeria. “

“This one too,” Catra called back. She rolled the guard on her side, revealing the large flowering tree on her breastplate.

“Well,” Adora said. “They could guide us there. And if we offer to trade them back, we might be able to arrange a meeting with Perfuma herself.”

“And if they won’t help us…” Catra smiled wickedly, flexing a hand to reveal her sharp claws to the guard beneath her.

“There’s no need for that!” the soldier whined. “We’ll take you wherever you want.”

Catra turned her head to look at Adora, with the sad kitten expression back on her face. “Could I do it anyway?” she asked. “I mean, we have a backup hostage just in case.”

*

Plumeria’s gates were tall, and built from enormous pieces of dark wood, with ivy creeping to the guard turrets that lined the top.

As the party approached, pushing the captured guards ahead of them, more and more soldiers with steely expressions and bows in their hands appeared on the ramparts.

“This is not going to work,” Kyle whispered anxiously.

“Why are we even here again?” Catra asked, shoving one of the prisoners forward.

“To get the runestone,” Adora hissed.

“Oh yeah. This is totally not going to work.” Catra laughed.

“Just go along with it,” Adora said, striding confidently ahead of the group and clearing her throat.

“We seek a meeting with Princess Perfuma,” she called out in a deep, serious voice. “Regarding the return of these prisoners.”

There was an extended pause, before a shout came from behind the wall, and the massive gate at its center began to creak open.

“Told you,” Adora whispered back.

“Verily, milady,” Catra said, imitating Adora.

A group of soldiers waited behind the gates to lead them in. They marched past market stalls and low wooden houses, before arriving in a great open field. They came to a stop beneath an enormous pink tree, with moss creeping up its sides and branches bowing under the weight of their willowy leaves.

“So what’s this princess supposed to be like?” Catra asked.

“She’s one of the evil princesses of power,” Kyle said. “And it’s said she can command trees and flowers using magic.”

“But I mean is she, you know…” Catra gestured vaguely with both hands. Kyle and Rogelio only frowned back at her, confused, but Adora threw a quick punch into her shoulder. “Ow,” she groaned.

“You know she’s our enemy, right?” Adora asked. She folded her arms before her chest, an annoyed expression on her face.

“You can’t blame a girl for asking.” Catra shrugged.

The party, and the crowd of murmuring onlookers around them, fell silent as a group of trumpeters blasted out a short melody.

A pair of soldiers marched into view, leading a tall woman with flowing blond hair behind them. They stopped under the shade of the tree, standing on either side of her, as she smoothed out her green shroud and pink dress.

Coughing into his hand, Kyle stepped forward and made a short bow. “Princess-” he began, but stopped as Adora tugged at his robes.

“Kyle, no offense, but I should probably be making the introductions,” she said, gesturing toward herself. “I’m pretty much the leader after all.”

“Excuse me?” Catra called out from behind them.

“Oh, um, well I have the highest Diplomacy stat in the group,” Kyle said, already wilting under Adora and Catra’s stares.

“And he has a beautiful way with words,” said Rogelio. The party, including Kyle, and their two prisoners, turned to stare quizzically at him. “I mean, his character does. Probably.”

“Just let me take a crack at it,” Adora said. She pushed Kyle aside, and he only stammered out a short rebuttal before backing up to join the others.

Adora planted her feet, quickly drawing her sword and holding it high over her head in a valiant pose. Perfuma’s guards drew their own weapons, as many of in the crowd around them recoiled in fear.

“Oh no, sorry,” Adora said, stifling a laugh. “I was going to cut the prisoners free, but uh…”

She sheathed her sword again, untying the rope around each prisoner’s wrists by hand. An awkward silence set in as she fumbled with the knots, broken only by a single, delicate cough from Princess Perfuma.

“There,” Adora said at last, clapping her hands together theatrically. “All done. Sorry about the scary moment, with the sword and all. That was supposed to be a goodwill gesture.”

“You have returned our captured warriors,” Perfuma said gravely, “but I imagine you would not free them unless your demands are met.”

“Exactly,” Adora smiled, before realizing her voice was too chipper. “Exactly,” she repeated in her deep, serious tone. “We demand that you deliver your magical runestone to us, or else you will forfeit the lives of these prisoners.”

There were more gasps from the crowd at this warning, while Catra smiled sweetly to herself.

“I cannot honor your request,” Perfuma said with a shake of her head. She placed a hand on a bulging pink crystal fastened to the enormous tree behind her. “The Heart Blossom is not just a source of power to me, all the people of Plumeria draw strength from.”

“Wait, that’s what we’re after?” Catra asked in a hush tone, pointing a clawed finger at the huge gem.

“Yes,” Kyle whispered back.

“Well princess, I’m afraid you’re in no position to negotiate,” Adora said. “Unless you provide us with the-” Adora trailed off, suddenly distracted by the sight of Catra standing _behind_ Perfuma.

She looked to be sizing up the tree, and suddenly snatched at the gemstone attached to it. It pulled out of the knotted wood easily, and the colorful leaves and wildflowers surrounding the tree seemed to lose some of their vibrancy the moment it did.

“How did you do that?” Adora shouted in surprise.

“How did you get back there?” Perfuma shrieked, turning on her heels.

_What just happened?_ Lonnie demanded, sounding genuinely confused.

“I rolled a natural 20!” Catra shouted gleefully. She jumped up and down, holding the runestone over her head while she cackled in delight.

All at once, a deafening rumble drowned out Catra’s laughter, along with the panicked shouts from the crowd of Plumerians. A seam opened in the ground beneath her feet with _crack_ , and snaking vines shot up from the hole with unnatural speed. They wound around Catra’s legs like a snare, making her wobble from side to side to keep from falling over.

Perfuma raised a hand toward Catra, seeming to guide the vines through the delicate motions of her fingers. “Return the stone,” she ordered. Her voice seemed to echo unnaturally in the hushed silence.

Sensing their cue, Perfuma’s guards rushed the rest of the party from all sides, charging with swords drawn or pulling arrows from their quivers. Kyle and Rogelio stood back to back, with Rogelio clutching his ax and Kyle’s hands glowing with eerie power.

Adora dashed for Catra.

Perfuma turned towards her, either hearing Adora’s hurried footsteps or sensing her through the earth, and raised a thick wall of vegetation before in her path.

She jumped over the obstacle with ease, slicing through vines that slithered up from the ground as she landed on the other side.

“Catch!” Catra shouted, hurling the runestone with both hands. Perfuma raised an arm to grab it instinctively, but the gemstone sailed over her head. Adora dropped her shield without hesitation, catching the stone in her free hand and pressing it tightly to her body.

Her hands free, Catra extended her claws, slashing and tearing at the vines around her legs until they fell to the ground in shreds. She dashed away before Perfuma had noticed, stopping just long enough to pull Adora along with her.

They cut through what remained of Perfuma’s plant wall without breaking their stride, and were racing through the open meadow towards Kyle, Rogelio, and the pile of pummeled guards at their feet. Perfuma let out a wail from somewhere behind them.

“Okay team,” Adora called, swinging her sword above her head, “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome.”

Kyle and Rogelio needed no encouragement. They started dashing back to the gates the moment they saw that Adora and Catra were free.

The few Plumerians still lingering nearby scattered from their path, and even the guards seemed wary to chase them. In minutes, they were back to the gate. Just a wave from Kyle’s hands made it begin to creep open, and when the team had ducked through the passage he pulled them shut again.

When they finally stopped running, somewhere in the depths of the Whispering Woods, there was no sign of the pursuing guards. The party laughed through their ragged, panting breaths, standing with their hands on their knees or leaned back against trees to rest.

_And although their journey home through the forest was not without incident, this is where our story ends tonight_ …

***

“You can’t stop there,” Catra pleaded with Lonnie, prodding her cardboard screen with a clawed finger. “I was finally having fun.”

“Well,” Lonnie sighed, “you guys somehow managed to pull off the objective for the entire campaign at level one, so I don’t have much else for you to do tonight.” She shrugged. “Besides, if Shadow Weaver catches us hanging out in here after curfew we’ll never live through it.”

The cadets sadly agreed, packing up their things and helping Lonnie put away her books.

In the hall outside, the girls and boys went their separate ways as they turned toward their barracks, promising to get back together soon for the next game night.

“Once you get past all of the math, it’s really not that bad.” Catra said. She was swishing and flicking her hand through the air, miming an imaginary sword fight. “But you were like, way too into it, _milady_.” Catra mimicked Adora’s serious character voice on the last word. She snickered to herself, sidestepping an elbow from Adora.

“You were the one who complained that _it’s not fair_ ,” Adora said in a whiny imitation of Catra’s voice. “ _They would never sneak up on me, that’s not realistic_.”

“I do not sound like that!” Catra growled, but then laughed along with Adora in spite of herself.

Lonnie only rolled her eyes, listening to them banter with each other the entire way back to their rooms.

**Author's Note:**

> I love feedback, so please share any comments – good or bad.


End file.
